My girlfriend called a baby at the dog park a human puppy and said she couldn’t wait til she had one.

Before we got married, my wife put me on a “no sex” diet for four months! She wanted to make sure things were special and exciting after we got married. all that happened was that I got good at beating off and bad at having sex, don’t think I lasted past 5 minutes the first [...]

The last girl I broke up with flipped out and started threatening me that she was going to ruin my life and all this crazy shit. She loved to dramatize everything and argue about everything so I always knew she was a little nuts but she actually texted me a picture she took of me [...]

My last girlfriend told me she was pregnant a couple of months into our relationship. I was freaked out, one because I didn’t really like her that much and two, because I wasn’t at all ready to have a kid. I didn’t want to freak her out though so I told her everything would be [...]

Here’s the Texts I got from my girlfriend over the weekend. She was out of town and I went out Saturday night. I didn’t hear my phone so this was over the course of about 20 minutes while it was in my pocket, around midnight: -Hi, what r u doing? Just checkin in! -Where r [...]

The night before we were supposed to meet my girlfriend’s parents we had a little mishap during sex. The lights were off and we were going at it but we accidentally bumped heads causing her nose to bleed. The next morning her nose was a little swollen and she had a slight black mark under [...]

My girlfriend sits in the bathroom until her feet get numb playing angry birds, she’s honestly in there for a half hour every time she goes to the bathroom. It’s disgusting.

My girlfriend and I went out of town to a friend of mine’s wedding a couple of months ago. The night before the wedding we all went out to a local bar to hang out, drink and talk. My girlfriend ended up getting hammered. we were sitting at a high table in the bar area [...]

I went on a date with a girl a little while back and things went pretty well. We went back to her place afterwards for a “drink.” I had to use the bathroom after a couple drinks so she pointed me down the hall to the restroom. After taking a piss I decided to check [...]

My girlfriend has a folder on her laptop of pictures of babies she thinks ours will look like that she searched for in the internet. Girlfriend, not wife, and we’ve been together just over a year.

My girlfriend forwarded me an email from Groupon advertising 2-1 at a gun range. We’ve always wanted to go so I bought it and we decided to go last weekend. When we got there she asked the guy if she could put a picture on the target and she pulled out a blown up picture [...]

Recently my girlfriend brought up the idea of us getting engaged, someday (key word). I said I could definitely see a future with her but it’s still pretty early in the relationship (we’ve been together six months) and we should enjoy things the way they are first. I’m pretty sure the only part she heard [...]

I made the mistake of calling a girl “hot” when my girlfriend asked me what I thought of a girl on the other side of the restaurant. It just kind of came out, right before we got our food. Once the food came my girlfriend didn’t touch her’s and instead kept turning around to look [...]