I was living with my Ex when I got a knock on the door, it was the police, they were delivering a restraining order to my girlfriend courtesy of her ex-boyfriend. When she said she was going to the gym at night she was really parked out in front of his house trying to get [...]

I left my apartment abruptly last week to go meet some friends for happy hour and left myself logged on to facebook while I was gone. My, up to this point, sweet girlfriend had seen that I was “online” and decided to message me, again, and again and again, while I was away. When I [...]

I met this girl in class and kind of hit it off so we facebooked each other and planned to go on a date. We go to dinner and I find out this chick had gone through every post on my wall for the last five years, since I’ve been on facebook. She referenced shit [...]

My girlfriend keeps three locks of hair on her nightstand, one for each cats she’s lost to valley fever. It might sound innocent enough but she’ll play with the locks of hair each night before she goes to bed, it’s pretty creepy.

My wife wants me to return this really cool shot glass collection and a PS3 we got as wedding gifts from a couple of friends of mine. Meanwhile, she wants to keep the hundred dollar flower vase and two hundred dollar serving tray that we’ll never use because they’re “grown-up gifts.”

My girlfriend wants us to wait to have sex until she’s “comfortable” enough with our relationship. Which is fine, I guess, but every time she drinks she wants to dry hump me to the point that I my dick keeps getting chaffed. Who ever told girls that dry humping was fun for guys?

My ex has done some crazy things in her days but somewhere on the top of the list was when she left like 8 cow eyeballs on my windshield. Some kind of revenge for who knows what. Don’t live in a farm town or anywhere fresh animal body parts are available to anyone that asks.

Me and my (now ex) girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to role play next time we had sex. She said she’d always fantasized about the athlete-cheerleader hookup since she was in high school. Since I played basketball in high school we were gonna do basketball player and cheerleader. Then she said to [...]

My wife calls me up while I am at work, completely hysterical. Turns out she found a long brown hair in our shower (she’s a blonde) and thought I was cheating on her. Oh, did I forget to mention that we had just moved into this rental 3 days ago. It didn’t cross her mind [...]

I called my girlfriend crazy during an argument over the weekend and she responded she’d “rather be crazy than a cheating slut.” I agree with her.

A girl friend of mine tagged me in a photo on facebook and my girlfriend sent me a message within a couple minutes: “only I should be tagging you in photos ” I’m assuming the smiley face was sarcastic.