My Crazy Girlfriend

Payback For A Nosey GF

abates — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 19:32:27 +0000

My girlfriend tried to download an app used to find your friends onto my iphone so that she knows where I am at all times. She even hid into my “productivity” folder in hopes that I wouldn’t find it. Just because she doesn’t do any productive on her phone she thinks I don’t use that folder. So, my buddy bounces at a local strip club and I had him keep my phone on silent in his pocket all night. When I got it back the next morning she had called my over 50 times and texted me everything short of “I will kill you.” It was so awesome.

Guys Night

abates — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 19:22:18 +0000

My girlfriend calls me “fucking gay” every time I tell her I’m going out with the guys. Is this just some stupid psychological bullshit that girls do? I can’t tell if she’s messing with me or not.

Hang On To Your Single Friends

abates — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 19:18:37 +0000

My girlfriend told me that my friends that are single really aren’t my friends anymore because they don’t have the same priorities as me. She went on to say that we need to start finding more “couples” to hang out with. The most disturbing part is that she said it in such a casual manner as if it was almost common sense and it actually got me thinking she might be right for a second until I told my friend Jeff and he called me a giant pussy. Thanks for putting that in perspective.

Public Service Announcement

abates — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 20:42:52 +0000

My girlfriend told me she wanted the iphone 4S. I told her that her phone, the iphone 3, was fine and I wasn’t going to buy her a new phone for no reason. She threw her phone out the car window and said she now had a reason. She now has an iphone 3 with a shattered screen that she’ll have to keep for three months until she is eligible for an upgrade. Idiot boyfriends stop and do whatever their girlfriends want because they wine and complain. Happy Valentines Day, remember who wears the pants in the relationship.

Guess I Chose Wisely

abates — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 23:15:01 +0000

My girlfriend and I got in a big fight about me not spending enough time with her. She said I hang out with my friends all the time and play video games the rest of the time. So, she took my video game cases and lit them all on fire and took a picture of it. Thinking she burnt the games too I rushed home to scream at her. After bitching her out she said that proves I care more about my video games then her and she dumped the actual games on the floor, and then broke up with me. Thank god she didn’t burn the games!

College Problems

abates — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 23:09:55 +0000

My girlfriend yelled at me for not asking her how here test went as soon as I saw her. Never mind the fact that I had a test the same day. I’m now the inconsiderate asshole.

The Teeth Police

abates — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 20:38:08 +0000

When my girlfriend scheduled my dentist appointment for me she told them I wanted my teeth whitened (she doesn’t think they’re white enough even though I don’t smoke or drink coffee or soda). My teeth are fine. I had no clue what they were doing, figured it was just part of the cleaning but it hurt like hell! My teeth were sensitive for the next three days and it was the most uncomfortable experience of my life. Better yet, you can’t even tell they did anything.

Crash Diet

abates — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 21:38:25 +0000

Same story every night, my girlfriend starves herself all day and then goes and works out so she can exercise on an empty stomach to burn more fat. By the time she comes home she’s starving, sweaty and cranky. She then pigs out on snacks for the next two hours and complains about how much her “tummy” hurts until we go to bed. All of this to get ready for spring break. Shoot me.

Guy Code

abates — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 22:12:50 +0000

I need a little help on this one. Once of my best friends is dating one of my girlfriend’s best friends. He’s been hooking up with other girls for a while now, nothing different then how he’s been in the past and my girlfriend knows he has had a problem being unfaithful. However, now she is asking me directly for details about his actions whenever we go out. I don’t say anything incriminating about him but she reads right through me and now we’re fighting because she doesn’t think I am being honest. I told her it’s not our business to get involved and it’s not my place to talk about my friend’s personal life, even if it involves her friend. I look like a pussy if I bring it up to my friend and it’s his business and it doesn’t bother me. In the meantime me and my girlfriend are fighting about everything now and it started with me not being honest with her about him. I can’t fucking win.

Check out Hazed & Confused

feature — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 18:27:08 +0000

While our site is dedicated to crazy girlfriends, the guys at Hazed & Confused are highlighting how crazy and fucked up both sexes can be when it comes to hazing rituals. Be sure to check them out. Here’s a little more about them:

Whether you’ve experienced it, participated in it, or just heard a really fucked up story about it, hazing is part of our culture and happens to a lot of us. We’ve all done gross, humiliating, and stupid things and have been put in awkward, crazy, and sometimes risky situations. We know how much getting hazed sucks, but we also know how funny and ridiculous the stories are to look back on. The only problem is you’re not allowed to talk about it. And that’s where we come in. We’ve created Hazed & Confused to give you the chance to anonymously share your story.

Full of Sh!t

abates — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 21:51:10 +0000

I love how, before we were dating, my girlfriend liked to pride herself on being “not the jealous type” and “such a chill girl.” Now, two months into things, she’s thrown my phone against the wall twice and probably hasn’t “chilled” for one night the entire time.

Profile Changes

abates — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 21:48:15 +0000

My girlfriend had some of her friends over this weekend and decided that she didn’t like her profile picture anymore on facebook. So, so makes me go to my room and bring out a bunch of different shirts so she can decide which one will look best on me next to her in what she is wearing. Then, we have to take forty fucking pictures until she gets one that she likes. And finally, when uploads the photo, half of me is cropped out anyway. Fucking nightmare!

In Case You Didn’t See My Text

abates — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 19:23:58 +0000

My girlfriend will text me, and then if I haven’t texted back within a couple of minutes she’ll resend the same text. If I still haven’t gotten back to her she’ll call me and ask if I got her text. The worst part is that her texts don’t require a reply. Here’s a couple examples:

Text: They put a redbox in Albertsons!
Text: They put a redbox in Albertsons!
Call: “Did you get my text, they put a redbox in Albertsons! Cool huh?!”
Me: “Yes”

Text:Katie cut her hair off, she looks sooooo bad!
Text:Katie cut her hair off, she looks sooooo bad!
Call:Did you get my text, Katie cut her hair off! Crazy, right?
Me; “Yes”

MyCrazyGF on Reddit

admin — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 16:07:41 +0000

MyCrazyGF has its own Reddit board and to celebrate, we have a $100 submission contest. Visit r.mycrazygirlfriend.com and submit your best crazy gf story. The winner will receive $100 in cash!

A place for bros at BroMyGod.com

feature — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 15:12:14 +0000

While seeking refuge from your crazy girlfriend, why not check out Bro My God (NSFW). They know what men like and have aggregated it all into one mega portal of brotastic content: from girls to cars to sports to entertainment and more. We were particularly fond of the riveting piece they have on the art of underboob.

Of course, don’t let your girl find out you’ve been there or you might end up back here with a new story to tell.

One Terrible Headache

abates — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 22:46:29 +0000

I drank too much the other weekend, kind of blacked out, don’t remember much, felt sick for a couple days, got anxiety, etc. My girlfriend was pissed, as I figured she should be. But, she wasn’t pissed because I got too drunk and acted like an idiot she got pissed because I didn’t remember who was at the party I went to or what girls I talked to. I wanted to throw up and my girlfriend kept trying to catch me in a lie about might actions. This went on for hours. I thought my head was going to explode.

Bloated and Gassy…..

abates — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 19:49:09 +0000

My girlfriend just moved in with me, first time I’ve lived with a girlfriend. We’ve been dating for about 4 months so I guess you could say we’re still figuring each other out some. First weekend together I figure we could go out to dinner, have some drinks, celebrate a little, and then come back to the place and have sex. It’s easier now since we don’t have to go back and forth and pick the each other up or decide where to stay. We have a group we always go out with and I generally like to get out on the weekends. We had plans for dinner at 7:30pm. I start getting ready in the guest bathroom since I figure she’ll take forever in the master. By 7pm I’m ready so I go into the master bedroom and she’s sitting on the bed on her shorts and a tee shirt saying she feels “bloated and gassy” from lunch and doesn’t want to do anything. Is this really what I am looking at from now on????

Just Venting

abates — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 15:11:16 +0000

My girlfriend works with a girl who’s douchbag boyfriend decided he needs to do everything possible to show his girlfriend how much he loves her this year. He’s sent her something every day this week at work, flowers, candy, a card. I don’t know if it’s his stupid resolution or not but now my girlfriend says I don’t do the “little things.” Thanks Dick.

This Year Might Suck

abates — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 21:28:36 +0000

My girlfriend decided while she was home for break that she would plan out our 2012 schedule together! we’ve got four trips to her folks house in Oregon, including one on Spring Break?? Seriously, wtf???!!! Labor Day and Memorial day “staycations” here locally…..Garbage.

My Resolution, I Guess

abates — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 21:18:49 +0000

My girlfriend gave me a list of all my annoying habits for New Years

Beat This!

abates — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 15:14:36 +0000

My Ex stabbed me in the shoulder with a steak knife when I told her I was breaking up with her. When I called the cops and they came she told them I tried to attack her. I spent 36 hours in jail. No charges were filed but I did get 12 stitches and a scar to remember her by. I’ve broken up over the phone ever since.

What is love?

abates — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 04:11:48 +0000

Well this is going to be a weird question to ask, but fuck it right? You’re all human. What is love to you? I want to know. I’ve never known what love is supposed to feel like? Is it crazy ups and downs, or what? Tell me stories, please? I’d really appreciate it.

Terrible Human

abates — Sun, 25 Dec 2011 03:58:27 +0000

We spent 5 years together on and off, lived together for 3 and a half of them. I didn’t find out she lied about tons of stuff until a year after we split up (at which point she was about to move cross country). I don’t want to get terribly specific, but she was just a lying, conniving, depression faking, awful person. And more recently, HER BEST GIRLFRIEND from college (a somewhat friend of mine, who now lives near her and sees her regularly) apologized to me for ever trusting this person and thinking I was a bad bf. She equated her attitude and actions as that of a drug addict. I never saw her do anything when we were together, but knew she was a liar and a cheat and a terrible narcissist. I’m assuming she is hereditarily a piece of shit because her father was too. Scummy southern (faux liberal) lawyer turned politician then back to lawyer, who pretends to care about people, but really just uses his power to do disgusting things. Anywayyyyy She’s a filthy whore and its her fathers fault… the end.

Harry Potter and The Order of Protection

abates — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 15:49:56 +0000

You know you’ve got a crazy one on your hands when you have to end up getting an order of protection (a magical way of saying “restraining order”) against your ex. of course, she was never crazy when we were together.

post break up, she lost her mind and for over a year, continued to harass me, show up drunk at my door late at night, leave art (with bizarre messages like “I.W.L.Y.F.” — i will love you forever?) and nasty notes on my front door, harass my new gf, make repeated phone calls and leave blank voicemails from blocked numbers, etc.

after giving her more than enough chances, i went to court and ended up having her served at her work by a police officer. best day ever.

Drunken Break-Ups

abates — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 03:34:32 +0000

I used to date this girl who would black-out a lot when she’d drink and not remember what she did. I’d always try to remove her situations before she’d make too much of a fool of herself and she’d go nuts and break-up with me. She did this like four times and never remembered the next day. It got old quick so I decided after the fourth time that I needed to actually break-up with her. She came over the next morning, after she blacked out and broke up with me again, and asked what happened and apologized telling me how sick she felt. I went into this long talk about how I couldn’t handle it any more and that I didn’t want to date her anymore. As I spoke she started to get real sad, so I thought, and turned pale and stared at the ground. When I asked her if she had anything to say she got up, walked over to the couch, and threw up all over it. She looked at me and said she was going to throw-up in the sink until I said I wanted to break-up, then she held it til I was done, threw up on the couch and walked out.

Crazy girl

abates — Sun, 18 Dec 2011 03:13:36 +0000

Ok so here is one of mine. When I graduated high school I moved up to Northern Minnesota to work during the summers through college. The first year I met this girl when I was 17 (now 23) and I was “the nice guy” then. She was gorgeous, fun as hell to be around blah blah blah. Well we dated for about 6 months thinking I found the one. I drove back and forth from Northern Minnesota to Northern Illinois 3 times in 6 weeks just to see her. The last time I went up there we were only going to get to hang out one night and that night she chose to fuck her local ex boyfriend and not talk to me until the next morning when she told me that she had been dating us both the whole time. We still talked during the summers I was up there and hooked up every once in awhile. Now she is pulling this how I manipulated her and I’m a piece of shit and it was all my fault. I guess it was my fault that I made her ex boyfriend fuck her. What was I thinking. haha
Hooked up with this girl one night when we were both drunk, thought it would end at that. . . until she told everyone that we were dating and we were meant to be and all this shit. I didn’t even know her last name. When I told her, “the other night was fun, but that is where it ends” She vandalized the hell out of my truck . . . TWICE

B*tch Got Daddy Issues

abates — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 02:33:51 +0000

So I had an ex, and my ex was pretty much had a lot of anger issues and pretty much was really manipulative. She stole my car, went into my computer and cell phone, and threw fits if she didn’t get her way in anything. She said that the first child born has to be a girl, or she would disown it outright. She took my car a lot, and would drop all her commitments (and try to force me to drop mine also) and obligations to make a trip to the bars and restaurants. She went to the emergency room a lot for anxiety attacks and allergy reactions (which a simple Benedryl could fix).

When she was in an emergency room (for a simple anxiety attack), she almost started a riot by yelling at the staff members and throwing stuff at the paramedics and technicians. Yet, when the cops showed up and was going to arrest her for disorderly conduct and attempted assault, she reverted back to a guise of innocence and denial, even if there was security footage of the whole incident.

Then somehow, after she had another drinking binge, she called me and broke up with me, saying I was a terrible boyfriend and wasn’t there for her, even if I was supportive and better than her ex. So, while readjusting to the single life, she starts making random calls and hanging up (which I could tell it was her because she called my cell phone through her cell phone) I get a random call a couple of days later and she started telling me that she knows where I live and she would put a bullet in my head and drag me out in a body bag, and told me to tell everyone I did it or else she would make things miserable for my family. I didn’t know what she was talking about until her mom called a couple of minutes later telling me that she was found on the website “The Dirty” and it really pissed her off, and that her mom said that I did it also because her daughter isn’t a liar. I called the cops, and they suggested that I put a restraining order on her.

A couple of days later, she somehow showed up in my dad’s workplace and confronted my dad about the same incident. My dad, smarter as she was, put holes in her argument and the only response that he got was her throwing fits in the office and trash-talking towards her and the staff, even though they really didn’t have anything to do with it.

At court, she didn’t really have any evidence to show that her behavior did not occur, nor did she really address the judge correctly. She said that I was violent because I had a gun, a self-defense baton, and pepper spray. The judge replied, “Well, I have those things, too. Does that make me violent?” She also said that I was a racist and a sexist, but somehow my lawyer made her angry to the point that she blurted out that she hated “blacks” (the euphemism for the n-word) and men because she was screwed by men ever since her daddy left her. Thus, the judge was already convinced that she was a danger and that the restraining order was justified, and included that she wasn’t allowed to be within 500 ft of me.

She really tried to screw me over during the relationship, and I wasn’t going to allow her to screw me over afterwards.

Table Setting

abates — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 18:38:01 +0000

I took a girl out once for dinner. We had a good time. Next time I picked her up she asked me to come in for a minute — to show the matching dish set she’d gotten for just the two of us — with our names engraved on each of the glasses. It was kind of endearing yet utterly creepy.

Wow.

abates — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 18:37:40 +0000

One night my ex came into the bar where I worked; this was after a few weeks of me telling/asking her not to. She got hammered, broke a couple wine bottles (full), and generally made a scene on a very busy night. When I got off work I had 24 text messages, 6 missed calls and 5 voicemails from her. While she was in the same room as me.

Mother’s Always Right

abates — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 20:21:29 +0000

My girlfriend’s mother told her that my personal business account is really just a secret account where I am dumping money so I can leave her someday. I make 5 times more money than she does and would have no reason to do this even if I wanted to.

She believed her.