My Crazy Girlfriend

Nosey Bread Slinger

abates — Tue, 10 Apr 2012 20:26:10 +0000

My girlfriend and I decide to go out for a nice dinner the other weekend, not something we do very often. While we’re there she sees one of her friend’s ex-boyfriends having dinner with a girl. Of course, she seats herself so that she can watch their entire dinner and she proceeds to stare at them while I try and talk. I can tell she’s getting more and more focused on what’s going on because she’s not even listening to me at this point. All of a sudden she grabs a dinner roll and throws it over at the table. They look over at us and she gives him the middle finger and we’re asked to leave the restaurant. Rather than apologize she spends the entire car ride home on the phone with her friend telling her all about it.

Seriously, what the f*ck?

abates — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 21:14:27 +0000

My girlfriend got pissed off for me mentioning to my friend I was with her when he called. As soon as I hung up she started in on me “why do you say you’re with me? what would you say differently if you weren’t with me?” She wouldn’t let up for hours and now she’s pissed off at my friend too.

Her “Wall”

abates — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 21:07:06 +0000

My girlfriend posted a comment on my facebook wall for my birthday “I love watching all these tramps wish my bf a happy birthday.” Since I wasn’t paying attention I couldn’t take it down til the next day. She’s making a great impression on my friends.

The True Fantasy Football

abates — Mon, 26 Mar 2012 20:53:09 +0000

They must call it fantasy football because it’s a fantasy to think you’ll be able to enjoy it when you have a girlfriend. I had to bribe mine to leave me alone on Sundays last season by offering her money if I won. She then wanted to have me explain everything to her so we could play together. It became “our” team. Fantasy sports are ruined for me.

Up we GO!

abates — Mon, 19 Mar 2012 14:37:56 +0000

My girlfriend and I fight a lot these days. Afterwards, she is prone to ‘mystery’ illnesses. these have involved visits to the emergency room for problems that can not be diagnosed, falling and cutting herself, and the latest, throwing up. I leave the room and when I come back in she is vomiting! I KNOW there is a finger involved here….

Facebook Hacker

abates — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 21:39:38 +0000

After I befriended a girl on facebook my girlfriend hacked into my account to see who requested who. She tried to break up with me when she saw I requested her. I broke up with her because she hacked into my facebook account.

This f-ing happened

abates — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 14:53:16 +0000

Dated this girl, slamming body, crazy kinky, pretty face, totally f-Ed in the head. She dated a guy before me and thy swung. The whole time we dated she got off on telling me he wanted to be gang banged by 5 or more guys.

Fast forward a year, we broke up on face book but still lived together (I was hoping he old respect the relationship and give it some time to date, big mistake) the day after we broke up she brought a girl home and started making out and grinding on her hard core in front of me and 4 of my guy friends. I told her she disgusts me, the next night she slept at a guys house and said hey just dry f—ed/ she was naked he wasn’t. Like that’s okay. I told her she crapped on our relationship (of 1 year).

The next day my other roommate/best friend(?) called me and told me that I better get home cause my ex is trashing my things and throwing my shit on the curb. Took care of that moved to a friends. Then I’m getting calls a week later saying that my ex is emailing my best friends and family members that I have an std and am bipolar and a bunch of other bullshit.

She came into my work and started screaming this same shit to my customers in a busy restaurant.

She calmed down a bit and like an idiot I missed her body and the sex so we both thought crazy sex friends won’t hurt, wrong… We got all drunk and had the idea of her gang banging. Went to the nearest strip club and she had 5 guys ready to bang and on their way out the door before I even got out of the car. Went to guys place and it was crazy, dp and bukake and everything you can imagine. Admittedly, it was hot, like watching the best porno, but live.

Fast forward 2 weeks later, she gets drunk and wants to invite the guys to my hotel room that I’m paying $80 a month to get gng banged again. Then as they’re coming over she gets a little too drunk and says, “you don’t love me anymore, someone who loves me wouldn’t do this.” what?!?!?

Long story longer, she totally flips out in the hotel room to the point that I told the gang bangers it’s off tonight, which enraged her more to the point that I had to remove her from the room. She starts sobbing uncontrollably in the hallway, I grabbed her things and walked them 3 flights don to my car. Walked back up and told her lets go. She starts playing like she’s too drunk to stand so I grab her arm (guys, don’t ever do this) As I’m pulling her up she comes to and starts screaming “let me go” I let go and she falls to the ground and hits her head pretty hard (really f-ing hard ) on the corner of a door.

She jumps up and starts screaming bloody murder that I threw her down a flight of stairs, she runs down every hallway of every floor screaming my name and knocking on every door saying I beat her. I calmly walked down to the manger of the hotel and said “call the cops, he cray cray. I then walked outside while she’s still screaming in a drinking mess at 1 in the morning.

Still screaming outside we wait for the cops. she’s hitting me as I flag down one of 5 cruisers. She runs to the police car and the cop pulls his gun out and says “stop calm down” she never really calmed down. The whole time the cops are joking with me and busting my balls. I try to protect her innocence by covering for the gang bang and I overhear her story, proudly telling them I didn’t love her anymore and I cancelled the gang bang. Completely embarrassed I listen to the cops ask me “why are you with this drama queen?” “is she kidding?” “did she just tell them you cancelled the gang bang?” “has anyone ever told you you look like Robert Downey jr?”

The last thing the cop said was that he would be arrested if she ever came back to the hotel and they would arrest me for “being an idiot” if they ever saw me with her in town.

This happened last Wednesday, haven’t talked to her since. I may be an idiot, but the sex was amazing. Gosh I miss her. ;-p

Lose-Lose Situation

abates — Thu, 01 Mar 2012 19:52:45 +0000

My girlfriend deleted my ex’s phone number from my phone. Kind of common I guess until you hear that my ex and I have joint custody of a child and I don’t know her number by heart, She still says “you don’t need her damn number in your phone!” Life with women is such a viscous cycle.

Hey Babe!

abates — Wed, 29 Feb 2012 19:16:39 +0000

My girlfriend calls every guy “babe.” It’s so annoying and makes her sound like a whore. I asked why she does it and she simply responded “does it make jealous or something?” Really?

Payback For A Nosey GF

abates — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 19:32:27 +0000

My girlfriend tried to download an app used to find your friends onto my iphone so that she knows where I am at all times. She even hid into my “productivity” folder in hopes that I wouldn’t find it. Just because she doesn’t do any productive on her phone she thinks I don’t use that folder. So, my buddy bounces at a local strip club and I had him keep my phone on silent in his pocket all night. When I got it back the next morning she had called my over 50 times and texted me everything short of “I will kill you.” It was so awesome.

Guys Night

abates — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 19:22:18 +0000

My girlfriend calls me “fucking gay” every time I tell her I’m going out with the guys. Is this just some stupid psychological bullshit that girls do? I can’t tell if she’s messing with me or not.

Hang On To Your Single Friends

abates — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 19:18:37 +0000

My girlfriend told me that my friends that are single really aren’t my friends anymore because they don’t have the same priorities as me. She went on to say that we need to start finding more “couples” to hang out with. The most disturbing part is that she said it in such a casual manner as if it was almost common sense and it actually got me thinking she might be right for a second until I told my friend Jeff and he called me a giant pussy. Thanks for putting that in perspective.

Public Service Announcement

abates — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 20:42:52 +0000

My girlfriend told me she wanted the iphone 4S. I told her that her phone, the iphone 3, was fine and I wasn’t going to buy her a new phone for no reason. She threw her phone out the car window and said she now had a reason. She now has an iphone 3 with a shattered screen that she’ll have to keep for three months until she is eligible for an upgrade. Idiot boyfriends stop and do whatever their girlfriends want because they wine and complain. Happy Valentines Day, remember who wears the pants in the relationship.

Guess I Chose Wisely

abates — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 23:15:01 +0000

My girlfriend and I got in a big fight about me not spending enough time with her. She said I hang out with my friends all the time and play video games the rest of the time. So, she took my video game cases and lit them all on fire and took a picture of it. Thinking she burnt the games too I rushed home to scream at her. After bitching her out she said that proves I care more about my video games then her and she dumped the actual games on the floor, and then broke up with me. Thank god she didn’t burn the games!

College Problems

abates — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 23:09:55 +0000

My girlfriend yelled at me for not asking her how here test went as soon as I saw her. Never mind the fact that I had a test the same day. I’m now the inconsiderate asshole.

The Teeth Police

abates — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 20:38:08 +0000

When my girlfriend scheduled my dentist appointment for me she told them I wanted my teeth whitened (she doesn’t think they’re white enough even though I don’t smoke or drink coffee or soda). My teeth are fine. I had no clue what they were doing, figured it was just part of the cleaning but it hurt like hell! My teeth were sensitive for the next three days and it was the most uncomfortable experience of my life. Better yet, you can’t even tell they did anything.

Crash Diet

abates — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 21:38:25 +0000

Same story every night, my girlfriend starves herself all day and then goes and works out so she can exercise on an empty stomach to burn more fat. By the time she comes home she’s starving, sweaty and cranky. She then pigs out on snacks for the next two hours and complains about how much her “tummy” hurts until we go to bed. All of this to get ready for spring break. Shoot me.

Guy Code

abates — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 22:12:50 +0000

I need a little help on this one. Once of my best friends is dating one of my girlfriend’s best friends. He’s been hooking up with other girls for a while now, nothing different then how he’s been in the past and my girlfriend knows he has had a problem being unfaithful. However, now she is asking me directly for details about his actions whenever we go out. I don’t say anything incriminating about him but she reads right through me and now we’re fighting because she doesn’t think I am being honest. I told her it’s not our business to get involved and it’s not my place to talk about my friend’s personal life, even if it involves her friend. I look like a pussy if I bring it up to my friend and it’s his business and it doesn’t bother me. In the meantime me and my girlfriend are fighting about everything now and it started with me not being honest with her about him. I can’t fucking win.

Check out Hazed & Confused

feature — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 18:27:08 +0000

While our site is dedicated to crazy girlfriends, the guys at Hazed & Confused are highlighting how crazy and fucked up both sexes can be when it comes to hazing rituals. Be sure to check them out. Here’s a little more about them:

Whether you’ve experienced it, participated in it, or just heard a really fucked up story about it, hazing is part of our culture and happens to a lot of us. We’ve all done gross, humiliating, and stupid things and have been put in awkward, crazy, and sometimes risky situations. We know how much getting hazed sucks, but we also know how funny and ridiculous the stories are to look back on. The only problem is you’re not allowed to talk about it. And that’s where we come in. We’ve created Hazed & Confused to give you the chance to anonymously share your story.

Full of Sh!t

abates — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 21:51:10 +0000

I love how, before we were dating, my girlfriend liked to pride herself on being “not the jealous type” and “such a chill girl.” Now, two months into things, she’s thrown my phone against the wall twice and probably hasn’t “chilled” for one night the entire time.

Profile Changes

abates — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 21:48:15 +0000

My girlfriend had some of her friends over this weekend and decided that she didn’t like her profile picture anymore on facebook. So, so makes me go to my room and bring out a bunch of different shirts so she can decide which one will look best on me next to her in what she is wearing. Then, we have to take forty fucking pictures until she gets one that she likes. And finally, when uploads the photo, half of me is cropped out anyway. Fucking nightmare!

In Case You Didn’t See My Text

abates — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 19:23:58 +0000

My girlfriend will text me, and then if I haven’t texted back within a couple of minutes she’ll resend the same text. If I still haven’t gotten back to her she’ll call me and ask if I got her text. The worst part is that her texts don’t require a reply. Here’s a couple examples:

Text: They put a redbox in Albertsons!
Text: They put a redbox in Albertsons!
Call: “Did you get my text, they put a redbox in Albertsons! Cool huh?!”
Me: “Yes”

Text:Katie cut her hair off, she looks sooooo bad!
Text:Katie cut her hair off, she looks sooooo bad!
Call:Did you get my text, Katie cut her hair off! Crazy, right?
Me; “Yes”

MyCrazyGF on Reddit

admin — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 16:07:41 +0000

MyCrazyGF has its own Reddit board and to celebrate, we have a $100 submission contest. Visit r.mycrazygirlfriend.com and submit your best crazy gf story. The winner will receive $100 in cash!

A place for bros at BroMyGod.com

feature — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 15:12:14 +0000

While seeking refuge from your crazy girlfriend, why not check out Bro My God (NSFW). They know what men like and have aggregated it all into one mega portal of brotastic content: from girls to cars to sports to entertainment and more. We were particularly fond of the riveting piece they have on the art of underboob.

Of course, don’t let your girl find out you’ve been there or you might end up back here with a new story to tell.

One Terrible Headache

abates — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 22:46:29 +0000

I drank too much the other weekend, kind of blacked out, don’t remember much, felt sick for a couple days, got anxiety, etc. My girlfriend was pissed, as I figured she should be. But, she wasn’t pissed because I got too drunk and acted like an idiot she got pissed because I didn’t remember who was at the party I went to or what girls I talked to. I wanted to throw up and my girlfriend kept trying to catch me in a lie about might actions. This went on for hours. I thought my head was going to explode.

Bloated and Gassy…..

abates — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 19:49:09 +0000

My girlfriend just moved in with me, first time I’ve lived with a girlfriend. We’ve been dating for about 4 months so I guess you could say we’re still figuring each other out some. First weekend together I figure we could go out to dinner, have some drinks, celebrate a little, and then come back to the place and have sex. It’s easier now since we don’t have to go back and forth and pick the each other up or decide where to stay. We have a group we always go out with and I generally like to get out on the weekends. We had plans for dinner at 7:30pm. I start getting ready in the guest bathroom since I figure she’ll take forever in the master. By 7pm I’m ready so I go into the master bedroom and she’s sitting on the bed on her shorts and a tee shirt saying she feels “bloated and gassy” from lunch and doesn’t want to do anything. Is this really what I am looking at from now on????

Just Venting

abates — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 15:11:16 +0000

My girlfriend works with a girl who’s douchbag boyfriend decided he needs to do everything possible to show his girlfriend how much he loves her this year. He’s sent her something every day this week at work, flowers, candy, a card. I don’t know if it’s his stupid resolution or not but now my girlfriend says I don’t do the “little things.” Thanks Dick.

This Year Might Suck

abates — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 21:28:36 +0000

My girlfriend decided while she was home for break that she would plan out our 2012 schedule together! we’ve got four trips to her folks house in Oregon, including one on Spring Break?? Seriously, wtf???!!! Labor Day and Memorial day “staycations” here locally…..Garbage.

My Resolution, I Guess

abates — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 21:18:49 +0000

My girlfriend gave me a list of all my annoying habits for New Years

Beat This!

abates — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 15:14:36 +0000

My Ex stabbed me in the shoulder with a steak knife when I told her I was breaking up with her. When I called the cops and they came she told them I tried to attack her. I spent 36 hours in jail. No charges were filed but I did get 12 stitches and a scar to remember her by. I’ve broken up over the phone ever since.